Royalty

I can't explain exactly what I've been feeling lately. So very down on myself, moping around like nothing is going right. Feeling quite worthless really. I was driving in my car the other day listening to a prophetic worship CD, I think maybe just hoping that God would reach down and give me something to wake me up and slap me in the face, something to pull me out of this dark daze I've been living in. I've been feeling like the worst mom ever, and mostly because my laundry isn't done and my house isn't clean....stupid I know. I've been working late hours and every Saturday and just can't get it all done. My kids could care less about their laundry or if my bar is cleaned off, but it really makes me feel like less of a person. But it's more than about that really...I don't know...there are so many things going on and I can't touch on them all, but all of it accummulated has made me feel genuinely worthless.
Anyway, back to driving in my car, listening to my music...I really felt God speak to me and say, "How dare you stand up and sing 'King of Kings' but refuse to believe that as my child you are anything less than royalty." Amy Bradley spoke about Royalty at our women's retreat just last November, and I am thinking back about what she said now. How do I see myself? I listed so many things...worthless.....lazy.....ugly.....on and on and on....not one positive thing about me.....The song she played...."I remember the day that you stopped believing that you were a princess....and my heart cried....and tears rolled down like a river." I remember that day too....."I'm gathering you, I'm gathering every piece of your broken heart that's been scattered and making it new." My heart feels broken by so many things...so many disappointments...."When will you see yourself for the queen you are?"

I pray that God would give me the strength to stand up and believe that I am a royalty, a daughter of the King. That he would send his grace on me, to let me know that even through my shortcomings, I am so much more than my failures. My failures and disappoinments in life do not define who I am as a person in Christ. Let me know the power of Your unconditional love and grace.