After a year of TTC, we may finally get some answers, and hopefully some quick fixes or solutions to our "problem." Friday, April 17th, at 8:00 we go to the OB for an appointment to discuss our infertility and options. Hopefully there won't be a lot of tests. I'm not 100% sure how my body will react walking back into the clinic. The last time i was there was last May for my after delivery follow up appointment. I cried the entire time. My doctor is very compassionate about our situation and I'm hoping that he can assure us that soon we can see our BFP and get over this devasting time in our lives.
Been thinking a lot about how to honor little Xavier on april 24th. His Birthday...i guess. I think we may go take some balloons over and tie them around his marker. And maybe a new pinwheel. He lost his other one over the winter. He should be having his six month pictures at this time...Not laying in the ground while we figure out what to get him. I know he's not there anyway...he's in Heaven...playing with my grandparents I'm sure! They probably are loving him like crazy. Just wish I could have had him first....even for an hour for him to have been awake. I miss that baby smell. I haven't held a baby since I held him. And my next child will be the next baby I hold. I'm not to that point yet...not even to the point where I can attend a baby shower without wishing I would die. But I have faith...soon I will hold my little baby. I know God will bless us again....I just wish I knew when.
Been thinking a lot about how to honor little Xavier on april 24th. His Birthday...i guess. I think we may go take some balloons over and tie them around his marker. And maybe a new pinwheel. He lost his other one over the winter. He should be having his six month pictures at this time...Not laying in the ground while we figure out what to get him. I know he's not there anyway...he's in Heaven...playing with my grandparents I'm sure! They probably are loving him like crazy. Just wish I could have had him first....even for an hour for him to have been awake. I miss that baby smell. I haven't held a baby since I held him. And my next child will be the next baby I hold. I'm not to that point yet...not even to the point where I can attend a baby shower without wishing I would die. But I have faith...soon I will hold my little baby. I know God will bless us again....I just wish I knew when.
On a positive note...We have T-Ball practice again tonight. Maybe. It's so darn cold and damp. The girls had a great Easter and looked beautiful in their Easter dresses. I'm glad I have them. They give me a reason to wake up every morning. Dominique can snap her fingers now, but Adalia cannot. So Dominique runs around Adalia snapping her fingers saying" Can you do this?" knowing very well that she cannot. It's humerous...for a while.
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